The Little Middle Finger Problem

It is very possible to have known me for a long time without realizing of my deformity. It is a peculiar one, one that I can hide well without bringing too much attention to myself. Well if you didn’t know before you probably imagined through the title that I have a short middle finger.

When I was younger I went to PCI and they ran a bunch of tests on me. I was about six years old at the time and the experience left an impact on me. They molded two casts to fit my hands that I would wear at night. The diagnosis was that my middle finger was growing into my ring finger on both hands. To correct this I wore the cast at night, which held the finger straight up and down, hoping to improve the growing path of it. I remember the cast well, because at that time in my life I was sucked my thumb as I went to sleep. I recall the cast, which was also around my thumb, so well because it made me give the habit up, otherwise I would be sucking on the disgusting tasting plastic the whole night.

I also remember the doctors talking about a long term brace; they might be able to put on my hands when I was 13. I looked forward to the day when they finally would correct my fingers permanently, but the age came and passed, and lost hope to ever attaining “normal” fingers.

With that in mind I began strategizing. I planned what to do and not to do in order to keep this problem on the down low. When I raised my hand, I kept it in a fist as to not expose it. When I cross my arms, I put both hands under my arms. I will never initiate a high five because that might cause for an awkward high five as they begin to study my hand. Most of the time I will walk with my hands stuffed in my pockets or into a semi clenched fists.

The bottom line is that I must use caution when I am in public. I use the strategies that I have explained and most of the time they work. When they don’t though, I am obligated to explain why I am the way I am. I must say to them that this is genetics seen in a deformity. My mom has it and so does her brother. I am unfortunately required to answer all the rest of their questions which are quite dull such as “Is it weird to do stuff?” Honestly people, come on.